What I would say.

The other day I saw someone who I use to hold dear to my heart and we had a conversation. Like those generic ones, the ones where you ask what they have been up to and what they are studying. The ones where you ask the questions but don’t really care to hear what the answers are. I came home and began to think about it and I decided that this is what I would say….

I would say that I miss you, that I am hurt, that although we were never in a relationship when we stopped talking I feel like that’s the closest thing to a break up that I’ve experienced. And it wasn’t even because I felt rejected, it was because we use to talk everyday and then all of sudden nothing. I use to be able to tell you about things that made me happy and I also use to be able to tell you things that made me angry and no matter what you would listen ( or I would trick myself into thinking that you were). I would listen to you talk about all the girls you liked and you would ask me why they didn’t like you and I would always tell you that they were crazy for not seeing the amazing guy that was standing right in front of them, but I know that what I really meant was hey you should open your eyes and see that I was waiting for you. I always told myself that you were worth it and you would see that one day we would be amazing together, because this time it would be different. It had to be different. I mean how many times can a girl get friendzoned? This time it had to be different. I would say that I hope you were doing well and that I hope that you are happy. I would tell you that you deserve the world and so much more, I would tell you this not because I am “in love with you”, I would tell you this because I honestly believe that. I would tell you that everything that you think about yourself, all the things that you doubt about yourself, is crazy. Just because that one girl said that you laughed to loud, or that you cared too much or that you fall to quickly, none of it means anything, because I know that deep down you know that those words don’t mean anything.  Lastly, I would tell you that I am happy and that I have moved on, because you think that I am still madly in love like with you. I would tell you that I hope that we will keep in touch and I will say good night to you and be okay with the fact that I saw you and held it together. You came into my life for a brief fleeting moment and in those moments you learned a lot about me and my quirks and I had the most amazing opportunity to glimpse into the person that you were and I thank you and know that our paths will cross in the future. Thank you.


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