To the new boy

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To the new boy.

Dear B.

I was scared to write this one. I am scared to write this one. I feel like its going to jinx it. So why am I writing this one? I don’t know? This one is going to end differently than all the others. This on is not over. This one has hardly started. I can not sign my name to this one.

B. You came into my life when I did not expect it. There was no tinder. There was no weird meeting at a party. We met at a club. On New Years. We met at a club on New Years. How cliche does that sound. Our short story so far is full of cliches. Let’s recap the list of cliches/classic romcom moments/the moments that have happened so far.

  • New Years
  • You came up to me because I was wearing a ridiculous 2017 head band and broke the ice that way
  • 5 minutes before midnight I left you, because I had to find my friend to say happy new year. I told you I’d be back.
  • I got back to you within 15 seconds to midnight.
  • You were my midnight kiss.
  • We danced and sang and kissed and talked til you had to go.
  • You’re best friend was there and spent the night with my best friend
  • You almost didn’t ask for my number. But then my friend made you.
  • I forgot about it
  • You texted me 2 days later to go on a date.
  • You cancelled on the first date. Cause you were ill.
  • But you talked to me. We texted til we could meet up
  • When we met up, it was amazing. It felt real and like I could be who I wanted to be.
  • You let me have my walls down before I realized they were.
  • You kissed me and that real first kiss gave me butterflies
  • We didn’t see each other for 2 weeks after that
  • I over thought everything.
  • I thought you just didn’t like me
  • I thought you didn’t want to see me.
  • Then we saw each other again.
  • It made me nervous to see you.
  • It makes me feel giddy when I think of you
  • This song is me :Β https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0TAJwGniuUs
  • I still get nervous everyday that you are going to think I am crazy and that I started to be interested in you too quickly.

 

But B. you keep making future plans. You don’t know how I feel about future plans cause I haven’t told you how they make me anxious. I know that its unreasonable for me to think that you should know that. Last time a boy made plans – he ditched. So I know you aren’t him but its hard to get it out of my head. It is hard to not be skeptical of any boy who shows any remote interest.

The point is thank you. Thank you for being you. Thank you for being the wonderful person you are. Thank you for giving me time. Thank you for being able to give me a little more to look forward to.

n.

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