So, for the past little while I have been thinking about this. I think about why for everything I do, do I put my whole heart into it? Is it cause since I was little my mom always told me, if I am going to do it, to do with everything I have? Probably a little.
At the same time I think its a little more than that. I think it goes down to who am inside. As a person I believe that anything worth doing is worth doing completely. That is why I will drive myself to the ground to accomplish things that may not be the attainable thing to do. That is why when I meet someone I want to know I will wholeheartedly try to get to know them. That is why I wear my heart on my sleeve and get hurt every single time (I want to be proven wrong with this one).
For me, whether it be a blessing in disguise or a fault, my feelings get put into everything I do. I know that you shouldn’t do that. But at the same time, how do you make it worth your time if you have no attachment to it. Now, I am not talking about things like cleaning your room or finishing an assignment. I am talking things like creating a meaningful relationship or applying to med school. I have been told time and time again, Naiomi, you are getting too emotional about this. You are too attached. Yea, so what, I am attached because it means something to me. Something that I am not ready to let go of yet.
It makes me vulnerable at times I really don’t want to be. It makes me the human that I am today. It helps me to hold onto things I know I shouldn’t hold on to. But at the same time it gives me drive and allows me to fight for something I know deep down will be worth it.